


baby don't hurt me

by kagseyamas



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Help, KyouHaba - Freeform, M/M, Smut, So much angst, Temporary Breakup, future fic (theyre 3rd years), saying 'I love you' for the first time, that should do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-29 21:44:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3911734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kagseyamas/pseuds/kagseyamas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, the best way to realise the extent of your love for someone, is to be away from them for a while.</p><p>Or, Kyoutani won't say that he loves Yahaba, and Yahaba gets fed up about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	baby don't hurt me

**Author's Note:**

> this pairing is a blessing i demand more fics about them

Yahaba Shigeru had a problem. It wasn't one of his main concerns– like the fact that he was replacing one of the best captains in Seijou history, or how he was getting below average in his english class, and had to do better this year before graduation. No, it wasn't a huge problem like that, but it was the type that once he began thinking about, he couldn't get it off his mind for the rest of the day. It was irritating and thought-consuming, and he had to put it out of it's misery.

That problem being, that Kyoutani hadn't said 'I love you' yet. He knew it was a petty, stupid thing to be worried about, and generally he wouldn't have cared, but the thing was, Yahaba had already said it to him.

It was the morning after Kyoutani had stayed over at his house, and his parents were away for the weekend. Under the circumstances, stuff had _happened_ , so of course Yahaba had woken up feeling particularly giddy. It wasn't the first time, but it was the first time they'd slept together afterwards, so there was something lovely and domestic about it. They'd talked in a hushed tone all morning, afraid that if they spoke any louder, it would break the spell, but after a short silence, Yahaba had whispered it into Kyoutani's shoulder ("I think I love you, you know?"). Kyoutani had had the nerve to pretend to be asleep, not replying, even though Yahaba could see the slightly-more-rapid-than-usual rise and fall of his chest.

So, he thought he had a right to be annoyed. Especially because he was certain Kyoutani _did_  love him. He knew his boyfriend wasn't the type to talk about his feelings openly often. He got embarrassed and always backed out of it, but Yahaba could see it in the little things he did, and how he looked at him when he thought Yahaba wasn't watching. And Yahaba was the type to need reassurance, even when he didn't want others to know– and so he made if his mission to get him to say it.

He usually tutored Kyoutani at maths on Tuesdays, considering he was shit at it and that was when no one was ever in his boyfriend's house, so that day after practice, as soon as he closed the front door behind him, he dropped his bag at the door, practically tackling him against the wall and roughly pressing their lips together. Yahaba knew that Kyoutani certainly didn't mind when he was rough– it was a nice change from the slower, more intimate times they did it. He also knew that Kyoutani didn't mind being the one up against the wall.

Kyoutani didn't question it, gladly going along with it as Yahaba kissed at his neck, sucking and scraping his teeth, making the other boy shudder and squeeze his eyes shut. He knew it would leave a mark tomorrow, but they'd always been sort of shameless about that kind of thing, anyway. They made their way up to Kyoutani's bedroom, which was always a kip, and all but their underwear was shed like lightning between kisses.

Yahaba ended up being the one to push Kyoutani back onto the bed, because sometimes he was still a little clumsy and clueless about what to do. Yahaba crawled up on top of him, straddling his waist and running his hands over dark, toned muscles. Kyoutani had one of the nicest bodies he'd ever seen, and he always took just a few seconds to admire him, before carrying on.

He felt Kyoutani beginning to get hard beneath him, erection pressing right against his ass, and he began to grind downwards, swallowing his boyfriend's moan as he kissed him again, tongue licking lazily into his mouth. Their breaths were loud and rapid, especially when he arched up to press kisses onto Kyoutani's chest, letting the friction off of his crotch. He brought a hand down to palm him over his boxers, and Kyoutani's hips bucked right up to meet his hand, this time.

Yahaba grinned into his kisses, amused at how Kyoutani always acted like such a hard-ass to the outside world, when he always had him like this in bed. He was the only one who knew, too, making it even funnier. Kyoutani reached a hand up to touch him too, but Yahaba gently grabbed his wrist, moving it away.

"Let me." Yahaba murmured into his skin, enjoying the way his breathing picked up, pressing kisses lower on his body each time.

"What's the occasion?" Kyoutani said, voice thick and gruff, failing to mask his shortage of breath as Yahaba neared the exact place he needed to be touched.

"Maybe I just want to." Yahaba smiled against his skin, hooking his fingers under Kyoutani's boxers, pulling them down tantalisingly slow.

Kyoutani hissed quietly at the gesture, and Yahaba basked in the way he reacted, and how he was already hard when he pulled the boxers off and threw them to the floor. Although he sometimes threatened to get up and leave when Yahaba teased him, Yahaba knew that he was full of shit. His boyfriend liked to be teased– even if he would never admit it. He enjoyed the way his stomach fluttered and his cock twitched when Yahaba would refuse to touch him until he got bored.

"Hurry the fuck up already." he growled, voice husky.

"I won't do anything if you're gonna be rude." Yahaba replied simply, shutting his boyfriend up.

Pressing kisses over his thighs, he parted Kyoutani's legs slightly, enjoying the look of embarrassment on his face when he did so. He made sure to make it look as though he was going to go in for kill– make Kyoutani believe that he would finally give him some relief– and once he looked as though he could come without being touched, he finally did touch him, licking a long stipe down the side of his shaft. Kyoutani's hips lifted slightly off the bed, but he settled again immediately when Yahaba sat back on his knees, folding his arms.

Kyoutani, upon noticing that he had stopped altogether, propped himself up on his elbows, scowling at him.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Yahaba kept his face calm and un-responding, despite the fact that he was almost as hard in his own boxers.

"Kentarou." he began, noting the surprised and vaguely-flustered expression that passed over Kyoutani's face when he used his given name. "You love me, right?"

His boyfriend, for someone who Yahaba was pretty sure would do anything for him, seemed pretty appalled at the question. His face had morphed into something Yahaba could only describe as pure horror, and Yahaba felt his heart sink a little. Was it really so bizarre?

"Is this manipulation?" Kyoutani spat, and Yahaba sighed before leaning over to kiss at the insides of his thighs again, feeling a shudder rack through Kyoutani's body.

"It's simple." he said between kisses. "Yes or no. I already said it to you, so what is it? Do you love me or not?"

He stopped and sat back again, beginning to palm at himself through his boxers, knowing that Kyoutani hated it. It annoyed him, especially if Yahaba wouldn't let him do it for him. Yahaba sighed, rolling his neck a little, steadily rubbing his crotch with the heel of his hand.

"Otherwise I guess I'll just finish up here and go."

Yes, he was putting himself out there. There was no way he'd ever do something like this, never be so confident in himself, if he wasn't completely sure that Kyoutani felt the same way. The other boy's mouth pulled into a taught line and his eyebrows knitted together.

"Stop, Yahaba." was all he said, and the feeling in Yahaba's gut sank even further.

Even if Kyoutani did love him– why wouldn't he just say it? There could have been a number of reasons, one of them being that maybe he was just ashamed of their relationship. Or, maybe he just wasn't sexually attracted to him anymore. Yahaba thought that that was something that happened to middle-aged couples, not teenaged ones. But with the way Kyoutani was looking at him right now, he could almost believe it.

"Fine." he muttered, removing his palm and swinging his legs out from underneath himself, standing. "You can blow yourself, then."

He shouldn't have tried this. It was humiliating, and thinking about it now, it never would have worked anyway, considering how emotionally constipated his boyfriend was. How much could Kyoutani really love him if he couldn't just _say_  it?

"Where the hell are you going?" Kyoutani choked out, shifting forward so that he was kneeling on the edge of the bed, while Yahaba began to pick up his clothes, pulling his pants on.

" _I said it to you_." he suddenly bit, letting his embarrassment and frustration out and glaring at Kyoutani. "And I know you heard me. So why haven't you said it back?"

The blonde just stared at him with these wide, owlish eyes that Yahaba had only seen a number of times on him, but he didn't pause to stop putting his shirt on. As he pulled it on over his head, Kyoutani made another choked noise that caught his attention.

"You don't have to _leave_."

Yahaba shook his head, continuing the search for his socks.

"I have to go. I'm sorry for even bringing it up."

As he slipped on his last shoe, Kyoutani fumbled around to find his underwear, clumsily slipping them on and standing as Yahaba left the room.

"H-hey!" he barked, tripping slightly as he ran to catch onto Yahaba's arm.

"Let me go." Yahaba said quietly. He was tired, and he had just been let down by someone he cared about, so he wasn't in the mood to fight.

"I..."

Yahaba examined his face, waiting as Kyoutani clearly struggled to find something to say. He knew that sometimes the other boy had problems with communicating his feelings. He knew that Kyoutani didn't show affection easily. But Yahaba was making _so_  easy for him. Yes or no– that was all he had to say to get his message across. The only reason he should be acting like this was...was if he didn't have the answer Yahaba wanted.

"Oh my god." he whispered, yanking his arm away and taking a step or two backwards. "You don't, do you?"

Kyoutani couldn't even reply before Yahaba turned away, shaking his head, realising how crazy he sounded. He probably looked like a pushy obsessive boyfriend to Kyoutani. Maybe he was suffocating him.

"I-I mean, it's fine if you don't, I just thought– I mean–"

"Yahaba." Kyoutani's voice was thick, and it sounded a little forced when he spoke. "Don't... I _do_ , okay?"

It sounded fake, as though Kyoutani was taking pity on him. Yahaba swivelled around to meet him, the backs of his eyes stinging slightly. If Kyoutani thought he could just say it to shut him up, he was sorely mistaken.

"Don't just say it because I look pathetic." he said through gritted teeth, trying hard not to break in front of the other boy– he'd truly be on the road to looking crazy, then.

A pained look crossed Kyoutani's face. "Wh– no. I... I do, okay? I'm saying it, so can we just move on?"

Move on? Yahaba was angry. He was hurt, and he was angry, because Kyoutani didn't even seem sincere, and he didn't really seem to care how saying 'I love you' was big in a relationship.

"Oh! I'm _sorry_ , are my feelings too _inconvenient_  for you?" he spat bitterly, watching as Kyoutani's expression morphed into one of surprise.

"You know what? You don't even try! I mean _sure_ , you have no problem receiving _blowjobs_ , but as soon as I ask for just a few words in return, suddenly you're all quiet? That's rich!" Yahaba continued, not caring anymore how far he went with this. He might as well get it all out there.

"I mean, it took me _three months_  to get you to admit you liked me, even after I found it out from Oikawa way before and you _knew!_ You're never the one to initiate anything, even if it's just a kiss, you don't wanna do anything romantic stuff in public, and I just don't..." Yahaba couldn't stop a tear or two from spilling over now. Kyoutani's face was morphed into something strange and twisted that he'd never seen before, too. "I don't know why we're even still together. We're not–" he swallowed thickly "we're not working out, are we?"

It was already too late to take it back, but it was out there now, and so he stood his ground, even if his heart was breaking inside of his chest with every second that Kyoutani stayed silent, staring. Eventually he spoke, but it didn't heal the giant, gaping crack in his heart.

"So... you want to break up?" his voice was quiet, almost monotonous.

Was that what he wanted? No. But maybe it was for the best. Yahaba seemed to be moving too fast for him, and it was only tearing them further apart. Maybe... maybe they were only together for the sake of being together. If they couldn't properly express their feelings to one another, was there really any meaning to the relationship? He couldn't properly come back from this one, anyway, so he averted his gaze, swallowing again.

"Maybe that's for the best." it was almost a whisper, but he knew that the message had been received, because Kyoutani's face crumpled.

"Fine. Fuck you, then." he growled, turning away and stalking back to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Yahaba heard the lock click, and that's when he clapped a hand over his mouth to silence the sobs that racked through his body. Kyoutani didn't mean that. Yahaba knew that he couldn't take bad news well, but it didn't give him an excuse, really.

"Real fucking mature!" he shouted, immediately coughing as he choked on a sob. He had to get out, before he detonated.

He stumbled down the stairs and managed to stop his crying before going outside, taking deep breaths and wiping his eyes. His bag was still at the door, so he didn't have to worry about going back upstsairs. Although he wouldn't have thought himself the type, Yahaba cried himself to sleep that night. He shouldn't have pushed him. He should have just– he should have just accepted that his feelings weren't returned as strongly. It was ironic that the one person he'd usually call up and rant to for hours until he exhausted himself, was exactly the person he needed to talk about.

It was strange to think that when they'd first met, Yahaba had hated him with a passion. Kyoutani was rude, disruptive, rebellious, disrespectful– especially to the senpais, which made it even worse. But they'd grown to get to know each other once Yahaba began setting for him. Yahaba had learned many, many things about him, things that made it unbearable to think that he'd once hated him, and in return, Kyoutani learned things about him. Eventually, it evolved into pure mutual trust and respect, and admiration, and then something even more.

But every time the thought occurred to him now that _it's all over, Kyoutani isn't yours anymore_ , his chest hurt even more, and eventually he fell into a restless sleep.

The next few weeks were unbearable. Kyoutani wouldn't even look at him, but Yahaba found it hard to look too, so he couldn't blame him. With the lack of communication between them, their playing was out of sync, and Yahaba couldn't even bring himself to call Kyoutani's name when he was about to toss to him. He knew it was awful, for a captain to be bringing his personal life onto the court and ruining it for everyone else, however it was different when it was him. He knew that there was no solution for it.

Irihata had even approached him one day, telling him to sort his shit out. He'd pulled him to the side of the court, after a particularly bad toss, and Yahaba could only bring himself to wilt as he trudged over, knowing what was coming.

"What the hell has gotten into you? You got issues with the ace?"

Yahaba was a little surprised that it was so obvious, he tried not to show it on his face, and simply averted his gaze, unsure what to say.

"Oh, so that's it, huh?" Irihata's expression morphed into something even darker. "You're the goddamn captain, and you have big shoes to fill this year. If you can't even sort out some petty little argument out without bringing it onto the court, perhaps I should give Watari a promotion."

Was he...threatening to fire Yahaba as captain? He knew it was an empty threat, as liberos couldn't be captain, but it still hurt. All he could so was wallow in self pity as he nodded slowly, still looking at the floor. He knew it was pathetic. He knew he should be stronger about this, and usually he was– with the rest of the team– but then it came to tossing to Kyoutani, and every time he tossed too high or slowly he felt his gut sink even further. They were out of sync.

"Yes coach. I'm sorry. I'll improve."

He excused himself to the bathroom halfway through practice to get a few pent up sobs out, before cleaning himself up and acting like it never happened.

One day several weeks later (approximately 3 weeks and 2 days later, but who was counting) as Yahaba was eating lunch with Watari and a few other 3rd years, he suddenly felt like he was suffocating, and opted to go get some air.

He excused himself, and decided to go up onto the roof to eat, instead. He needed to just think, and that place was quiet. He used to go up there sometimes with Kyoutani, when they wanted to spend time alone together, without the busy rush of the school and eyes watching them from all angles.

Lunch box in hand, he pushed the fire escape open, and then froze in his place. There was already someone up there. Said someone looked over at him in surprise

"Ah. I-I'm sorry, I'll... I didn't mean to disturb you–"

Kyoutani hopped up and walked over to stand before him, looking slightly hesitant. "We need to talk."

"We do?"

"Have you..." Kyoutani took a deep breath, but he was looking Yahaba in the eyes for once, which was a start, even if it made him feel weak. "Have you moved on yet?"

Moved on? From him? That was a joke. Yahaba's chest still ached every time they made accidental eye contact, and even now, talking to him for the first time in weeks, Yahaba felt like he could stop breathing and die.

"No." he said gravely, shaking his head and then biting his bottom lip. Was Kyoutani about to tell him that it was about time he did? Or maybe, that he already had.

"Good." the other boy paused, and looked to be collecting himself. "Because I need to say something to you."

Yahaba was baffled. Why was he dragging it out so long instead of just saying it in the first place?

"I..." Kyoutani looked like he was going to be sick, and it was making him nervous. "I love you. I'm... in love with you, Yahaba, so you better believe me this time."

Stunned into silence, Yahaba only stared at him. Why was he saying this all of a sudden? He was so overwhelmed with emotion, especially because Kyoutani looked and sounded so sincere. The words he's always wanted to hear from someone had finally been said.

Kyoutani continued, wringing his hands in front of him. "The reason I couldn't say it on _that_  day was because I-I wasn't ready. I haven't said those words to someone since I can remember, not even to my dad, and I guess it was a big deal and I _know_  you made it easy for me but it just felt forced and dumb, but... I'm ready now. I'm sorry that I made you believe I didn't, but the truth is..." his eyes flicked up from the ground back to meet his eyes. "I've always liked you so much that it scared me. So when you said you _loved_  me, I just. I didn't know how to say it back in a way that felt like it was enough. So, please accept my apology. I don't want to be away from you anymore."

Once it was clear that he was finished speaking, Yahaba raised a shaking hand to his mouth, trying to process this whole thing. This was the longest time he'd ever heard Kyoutani speak about his feelings sincerely. It must have taken him so long to find the courage to say all of this, and he felt like an ass for trying to push him sooner. This whole situation was just so overwhelming, and it took Kyoutani prompting him, to remember to speak.

"Well? Don't just leave me hanging."

"Kentarou." Yahaba said, in almost a whisper. He dropped the box in his hand to the ground, not caring if the insides got all mashed up, and immediately pulled Kyoutani forward by the collar, crashing their lips together in an attempt to get closer to him. The kiss was desperate, and needy, but it was making up for all those weeks that had been spent in silence. When they finally broke apart, Yahaba's cheeks were a little bit tear-stained, and they rested their foreheads together, breathing heavily.

"I love you too. I'm sorry for... for pushing you when you weren't ready." he pressed another chaste kiss to his lips. "And I'm sorry for doubting you. And for saying those awful things." Another kiss. "I was a mess without you."

He thought he saw Kyoutani smile, but with their foreheads touching, he wasn't quite sure.

"Same."

Yahaba's eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

Kyoutani's cheeks reddened a bit, and his brows furrowed. "Course. I already said I- I loved you. Did you really think it wasn't gonna affect me, not having you around?"

Yahaba gave a wet, teary smile, intertwining their fingers together on one hand and fiddling with the short hairs at the back of Kyoutani's head with the other.

"Couldn't have been worse than me."

"Yeah, you sure cry a lot, don't you?"

"Oi!" he cried, punching Kyoutani's shoulder playfully. "I'm a crier. You already knew that."

"Yeah." Kyoutani was the one to lean forward and kiss him this time. It was maybe the first time he'd done it of his own accord. Yahaba grinned widely at him, and then the school bell went.

"C'mon, we have to get to class." Yahaba tugged him by the hand, not even bothering to pick up his lunchbox. He wasn't even hungry anymore, anyway.

"Can't we just stay h–"

"Class." Yahaba interjected. "I'm not having a boyfriend who get's held back a year for not showing up for lessons. I hope you haven't been falling behind in maths without me."

"You sound like a mom." Kyoutani grumbled, allowing himself to be led down the stairs. "You still gonna tutor me for maths today then?"

Yahaba hummed, eyeing him with a playful glint in his eye. "You want me to actually _tutor_  you, this time."

"Only if you promise you wont start crying again." Kyoutani smirked, earning another punch, harder this time.

They let go of their hands as soon as they reached the hallway, which was bustling with people, but they walked with their shoulders touching and their hands brushing occasionally, as a silent reminder to the other that they were both still here, and not going anywhere again any time soon.

**Author's Note:**

> i literally dont know what happened here. this was supposed to be fluff. i am so sorry.  
> also, some things i wanted to mention because i couldnt write them from yahabas perspective in the actual fic:
> 
> •kyoutani did indeed cry like a baby as soon as he slammed the door behind him  
> •he almost told yahaba he loved him a bunch of times waayyy before yahaba even told him, which was really scary  
> •his speech was gonna be a bunch of shit that he loved about yahaba (like "youre stupid fucking prettyboy haircut, how youre not afraid to talk shit to me" etc) but he couldnt go through with it bc it was too sappy  
> •in case i didnt make it clear enough, kyoutani is submissive as fuck in bed. like. damn boy  
> •kyoutani has a bad relationship with his dad, which is why hes never said "i love you" to anyone before  
> •despite yahaba being a crier, kyoutani is the one who cries on their wedding day
> 
> •ANYWAY


End file.
